Bespoke gags


I’ve written one-liners for TV, radio and stage and can deliver for you too. Just let me know the sort of gags you need and I will deliver them to an agreed deadline.

Examples of types of bespoke gags I’ve written for clients include:

  • Jokes for stand-ups
  • Ice-breakers for a musician
  • One-liners for a town-crier
  • Jokes for a dating profile

Everything is done over email and, if you prefer, the phone. It’s a quick and efficient process with a fast turnaround.

Make a payment now and I’ll be in touch right away (see below for full process).

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How does it work?

  • Click the PayPal button to make a payment (you can pay for multiples of 5 gags)
  • I take the brief over email/phone & we agree deadlines
  • I write the gags/ice-breakers
  • I make any changes until you’re happy
  • Alternatively get in touch with me direct if you prefer to pay via bank transfer


I want 15 gags. Do I pro-rate your costs?

Yes. That would be 3 X £50 =£150

I’d prefer to pay direct rather than via the shop. Can I do that?

Yes, just email me and I can give you the PayPal details.

What if I don’t like some of the gags?

I will write new ones for you as part of the original deal. You are entitled to one set of edits.

Does five gags mean five gags?

For some of the one-liners, I will give alternatives so you will technically receive more than the requested number of jokes.

What shows and people have you written gags and sketches for?

The Weakest Link (BBC2), The 11 O’Clock Show (C4), 2DTV (ITV1), Headcases (ITV1), The Charlotte Church Show (C4), The All Star Impressions Show (ITV1), Parsons & Naylor (Radio 2), Weekending (Radio 4).

People who’ve delivered my gags and lines include:

Charlotte Church, Russell Howard, Matt Baynton, Iain Lee, Ann Robinson, Andy Parsons and Henry Naylor, Kevin Eldon, Cariad Lloyd, Mark Heap, Anita Dobson, Simon Brodkin (as Lee Nelson) and Jerry Hall.

How do I get in touch?

Email me at [email protected]