Funny groom speech stories

So, you want a funny groom speech? Great. It’ll be more memorable, and you’ll have more fun delivering it. The next question is: what are the sort of funny groom speech stories you can use? What will be entertaining and engaging without striking the wrong tone.

Here are some fertile areas to explore – and some to stay clear of.

Funny groom speech ideas

Before you met

If you met online, there’s lots of potential for humour. Did you use a cheesy one-liner? Was your profile photo carefully taken to hide a bald spot? Was it taken 5 years previously with you looking young and beautifully tanned? Did you lie about your height?

The First Date

It doesn’t have to be a classic to be a funny groom speech story. Even small details can be woven into a good tale. Did you have a drink beforehand to relax but ended up having too many because she was late? Did you want to pay but she insisted on going halves? Was your menu choice based on how easy it would be to eat? Spaghetti meat balls 1 crisp white shirt 0.

The time she...

Some stories might be typical of what she does or a one-off. Here are some examples that might inspire you.

The time she spent more money on scented candles than food or clothes.

The time she got lost only 10 minutes from your home.

The time she asked if The Lord Of The Rings is based on a true story.

The time she planned the whole of your holiday on a massive spreadsheet.

Just think of a foible she has – shopaholic, obsessive, clumsy – then think how that led to a silly outcome.

Trips away

When you plan a holiday, so many things go can awry. And this means comic potential. Did you spend a night sleeping on an airport floor? Were you amazed at how many pairs of shoes she could fit into one suitcase? Was your hotel the triumph of marketing over reality – “5 minutes from the beach” only if you ran like Usain Bolt?

Meeting the parents

So, you didn’t set fire to the house or poison a beloved pet. It doesn’t have to be Hollywood-level farce to be worthy of inclusion. You could, instead, talk about how incredibly nervous you were. You were then put at ease by their wonderful warmth – though the amount of cake you were expected to eat was a challenge.

Asking for permission

“Can I marry your daughter?” is much easier read than said. Perhaps you spent 20 minutes trying – and failing – to make small talk before asking. Then came the moment of truth. Did your fiancée’s father jokingly say “no” or leave you hanging? If so, tease this out for maximum effect. As you’ve probably noticed, for many these groom speech ideas, you will be the butt of the joke.

The proposal

Lay out how you imagined it would happen. Then show how it actually happened. Perhaps it was interrupted or maybe you kept walking for ages to find the right spot. Did your carefully prepared lines become a mumbled mess? Was the ninja-like move to take out the ring more like a man wearing gloves trying to pick up a paperclip? The gap between what you intended and what took place is where the humour lies.

For more ideas, take a look at my comprehensive groom speech tips page.

Topics to avoid

Drunken episodes

There are always exceptions to the rule, but – generally – stay away from telling drinking stories about the bride. Put yourself in her wedding shoes. Would you want such a type of story broadcast on such an occasion? An exception might be if the punchline is silly or sweet. For example, if white wine inevitably leads to her crying to a boyband song. In that instance, it’s about the song and the sentiment as much as being tipsy.

The spare room

All couples argue. Covering mild disagreements can be fun. That said, keep it light. If you disagree about toilet seat positions or which football team is the best, that’s fun and low stakes.


You do not have to have lived a life as Mr and Mrs Comedy to get laughs. For inspiration, flick through old photos on your phone. This will remind you of nights out and special occasions. And remember – a funny groom speech idea does not need to be stand-alone hilarious. It just needs to be amusing for your guests. In other words, it’s funny because it’s “you”.

If you’d like more inspiration on writing your groom speech, check out some more of my blog posts below.