Best Man speech openers

The importance of Best Man speech openers

Do you want an early laugh under your belt? Well, you’re not alone. Even experienced stand-ups open with tried-and-tested lines rather than newer material. In the trade it’s called “permission to laugh”. You’ve proved you’re funny now the audience can relax. Oh, and so can you.

So, here are some tips on how to generate some Best Man speech openers.

Keep it in the moment

Stand-ups often open by commenting on the location or audience. Why? It’s in the moment. Everyone in the room can relate to it. So, let’s try this with a Best Man speech.

The guests

“It’s wonderful to see so many smiling faces, and I’ve been given five minutes to change all that.”

You could also anticipate their reaction.

“Just so you know, I will treat everything as appreciation – even flying glasses and cutlery. At least it means you’re not asleep.”


Make the pressure of public speaking work to your advantage.

“I’ll be honest, I’m not a fan of speaking in public. And, by the end of this speech, neither will you be.”

Or remark upon the use of Dutch courage…

“It is no co-incidence that the most viewed video on YouTube today is how to deliver a speech after 5 glasses of fizz… and still sound selatively rober.”

Your position in the roster of wedding speakers

You could comment on this, especially if there have been lots and you’re last.

“I’m the final course on this wedding speech menu. But don’t worry, GROOM will be getting his just desserts.”

Length of speech

Will you speak for 5 minutes or 45 minutes? The guests have no idea so it’s something to play with.

“GROOM told me I could speak as long as I like. I thought this was a vote of confidence in my abilities until I discovered he just wanted to keep you away from the free bar as long as possible.”

Other Best Man Speech opening lines

Topical lines

You could refer to some very big story or keep it general.

“With all the doom and gloom in the news recently, it’s great we can now have a few laughs at GROOM’s expense. GROOM, thank you for devoting your entire life to that.”

Twist a well-known expression


You might wish to add a more highbrow Best Man speech opening line near the top.

“As Mark Antony didn’t quite say in Julius Caesar: ‘I come not to praise GROOM, but to bury him.’”


Or just take a common expression and play on that.

“As they say: ‘save the Best Man till last’. Hopefully everyone will be too drunk to remember anything.”

Stuff about you

Your appearance

You could open with something self-deprecatory.

“Good afternoon, everyone. For those that don’t know me, I’m, NAME, Daniel Craig’s body double. And today I have the privilege of doubling up as GROOM’s Best Man.”

The selection process

Everyone knows the groom asked you to be Best Man in the pub or on the phone and it was probably all straight forward. So feel free to make this up entirely.

“Good afternoon, everyone. I’m NAME, and I’m very proud to be GROOM’s Best Man today. When he asked me there were tears in his eyes…just after I told him how much a wedding usually costs.”

“When GROOM told me he’d been given a date and I needed to wear a suit, I feared that CCTV footage had finally caught up with us. So I am delighted to be standing here today – not as a defence witness – but as one for the prosecution.”


Don’t obsess about your Best Man speech opening line. If you’re not confident it’ll land, choose something safer such as how proud you were to be chosen. Or simply how you look forward to having a bit of fun at the groom’s expense. Essentially, if in doubt, keep it simple and true.

For more Best Man speech openers, check out my Best Man speech gags and icebreakers package here:

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