Father of the Bride speech tips

The ultimate Father of the Bride speech guide to help you write a memorable speech

I’m Marc Blakewill, a professional wedding speech writer, who’s written hundreds of wedding speeches. This guide is to help you add humour and the heartfelt in the perfect mix to give your daughter a speech she’ll be overjoyed to hear.

CALL MARC

EMAIL MARC

The tips will cover the following:

Wedding speech order
Speech structure
Opening lines
Funny speech ideas
Story ideas and more emotional ideas
How to write your Father of the Bride speech, including tips on length

Wedding speech order

I always ask my speech clients about the wedding speech order. In over 95% of cases, the Father of the Bride speaks first. It’s then typically the Groom and the Best Man last.

This is the standard format at most weddings, but things are increasingly flexible. Other speakers might include: the Bride, the Father of the Groom, the Maid of Honour or more than one Best Man.

Why does it matter?

If you’re first, you need to warm people up. This means welcomes and, ideally, an icebreaker or two. If you follow someone else, you might want to open with a quick thanks to the previous speaker.

Either way, you’ll want to keep the first few lines of your speech snappy and engaging. Make everyone want to hear more.

Father of the Bride speech structure

The good news is that a great Father of the Bride speech does not need a Pulitzer Prize-winning structure. People remember a good speech; they don’t remember how it was constructed.

So, what’s a good Father of the Bride speech structure?

Welcomes and icebreakers
Thanks to any key people
A toast to absent friends (optional)
Your daughter – amusing stories and heartfelt lines
Your new son-in-law – as above but shorter
Closing heartfelt remarks – how they make a great couple; what your daughter means to you; wishing them both well in their journey through married life
A final toast to the happy couple

Welcomes and thanks

Try to keep the opening sections a reasonable length. Too long and there’s less time to talk about the bride. Too short and we’re quickly into the section everyone is waiting for – your stories about your daughter. Build up to it a bit.

Thanks

Think of these as “practical” thanks and “life” thanks.

First, the “practical” ones. Keep any thanks about wedding organisation on the light side as these are more usually covered by the groom. However, if your wife or partner has moved mountains with the wedding preparations, kind words won’t go amiss.

“Life” thanks. You might wish to show appreciation to your wife, your other children or your parents for their role in giving your daughter a great upbringing. It might be the first time you’ve spoken in front of all your family and their close friends, so it’s a great chance to sing all their praises.

What to avoid – if you have a few names, try to couch each thanks within a light-hearted remark. A bit of wit and it won’t sound like a list.

Absent friends toast

This is not obligatory but if it’s done, it’s typically by the Father of the Bride. Some speakers keep it generic while others mention people by name, particularly if someone has recently passed on. It can be a nice gesture to mention family members from both sides of the aisle.

Your daughter

A toast is a natural break, so talking about your daughter shortly afterwards can work well.

When structuring what to say about her, the easiest format is roughly chronological. There’s the day of her birth, to early dreams and ambitions to actual milestones such as her first job, driving, college, etc. Another advantage is that this timeline often leads naturally to her meeting her fiancé.

Some pointers:

Choose highlights. You can’t capture your daughter’s life in one speech so brainstorm your stories and select your favourites.
Your daughter would probably like her friends to be mentioned. What’s more, you’re probably guaranteed more laughs or appreciation if you do.
Take stories from different points of her life; each will likely have a different tone so will add texture to your Father of the Bride speech.

We’ll focus on ideas for this section this further down this post.

Your son-in-law

Some Fathers of the Bride love to roll up their sleeves and treat it like a mini-Best Man speech; others prefer largely kind words with some light-heartedness. Follow your instincts on this. Keep this section true to your relationship to your future son-in-law.

Some pointers:

Even if you have a close relationship or lots of stories, don’t let this section dominate. Your daughter is number one.
If you’re struggling for things to say, more generic lines include: saying he is a credit to his family; pointing out a salient quality e.g. hard-working, polite, reliable.
It’s always nice to welcome him formally to the family.

Closing heartfelt remarks

So, you’ve entertained everyone with some fun stories, now’s the heartfelt part. You might find this section easier to write than the others – after all, it’s straight from the heart. Here are some thoughts on potential angles:

What are your daughter’s absolute best qualities? Kindness, spontaneity, razor-sharp wit, diligence…If there are lots, don’t worry. It’s her wedding day and it will be hard to praise her too much.
Is there something you told your daughter when she was born? Perhaps it was a promise to do all you can to look after her. And now your son-in-law takes on the mantle…
You might wish to give some simple marital advice: some hard-won wisdom. It could be serious – “be a team”, “always admit you’re wrong” – or silly “always leave the toilet seat down”. Or, of course, a mix.

Less can be more here. Aim for a couple of paragraphs of finely honed feelings. Years of love distilled into a few phrases. And then, while those lines are still filtering through people’s minds, move to the final toast. And that’s it! Mission accomplished.

Overall, don’t feel your Father of the Bride speech structure needs to be complicated. It’s simply a vehicle to deliver key thanks and funny and heartfelt moments. Now, we’ve got the outline of your speech structure. We’ll look at ideas for lines and stories.

Father of the Bride speech opening Lines

If you have limited time to work on your speech, focus your effort on two areas: the opening lines and the stories about your daughter.

A strong start to your Father of the Bride speech will relax you, the guests and your daughter! Yes, she’ll be nervous…

There are over 200,000 weddings every year in the UK and over 2 million in the United States. That’s a lot of people hoping to be engaging and original with their opening words! So here are some tips:

If people have travelled far, you could comment on their journeys, airmiles covered, trees that now need to be planted, etc.
If the wedding is abroad, you could make a jokey attempt at saying “hello” in the local language.
As more people use AI for ideas, you could pretend you’ve used the latest chatbot to help by accidentally quoting it.
What time of year is it? If it’s a New Year’s Eve wedding, you might refer to people still digesting their Christmas dinners.
Is there something in the news everyone would be aware of? For example, a sporting event people might be missing.

Alternatively, you might just want to keep your opening line as a simple “welcome” and talking about how delighted you are. It’s lower risk and not everyone is comfortable trying to land a joke very near the top of the speech.

Interaction

Some Fathers of the Bride like to get people applauding or cheering very early on. The easiest way to do this is by giving a very clear prompt to the guests.

“First of all, I’d like to ask you all to welcome John and Jane to the wonderful world of married life with a massive round of applause!”

Don’t be scared to be direct! Everyone loves to make a bit of happy noise.

Funny Father of the Bride speech ideas

If you want someone’s mind to go blank, just ask them this: “Tell me a funny story about your daughter”. Suddenly… nothing. The thing is: you DO have them. The key is to unlock them. So, here are some prompts to uncovering some funny Father of the Bride speech ideas.

Starting with….

The early years

This allows you to have some fun comparing and contrasting the all-conquering corporate woman you see before you today…. with the girl who butchered her fringe with mum’s scissors before her first day at school.

So, here are some potential angles:

Was her first word something strange?
Did she typically mispronounce a particular word? Examples include: “chimley” (chimney); I’ve got an “egghead” (headache).
Was there any early clumsiness, perhaps even with trips to A&E or the Emergency Room?
Was there a food she was obsessed with or absolutely hated? Was it easier to get a dog to tap dance than to get her to eat vegetables?
Was there sibling rivalry with a sister or brother? Did you feel you might to call in UN Peacekeepers?
Was there a big debate about when she was allowed to have her first phone? Was not having one “against my human rights”?
What did her bedroom look like? As clean and ordered as a medical clinic or an avalanche of clothes and clutter?

The teenage years

This is an equally good hunting ground for funny Father of the Bride speech ideas. Let’s look at some possible ways in:

Was her clothes budget similar to a small country’s GDP?
Did she emulate a star in her look and tastes?
Was there a moment when she left the house as a young girl – went to the shops and the hairdresser’s – and came back a young woman?
Was there an early mishap with alcohol at a party or at home? And did it require an industrial clean-up operation?
Did dad have to help with any homework? Or was it already beyond him when she started high school!
Did you take her out for any driving lessons or was that, wisely, 100% outsourced?
Was she more interested in books than boys for many years? More into Harry Potter rather than the boy next door?

The adult years

Wisdom and common sense don’t magically take over our lives as adults. So, there are bound to be some fun stories to plunder from these years:

Was there a first holiday away from the family that was noteworthy? Does she take more pieces of luggage than the number of days she is staying?
Have some of her decisions been rather “creative”? Perhaps her degree at college is as relevant to her work as a hard hat and boots to a digital marketing executive?
Has she developed an obsession with sport or fitness? Is she now a black belt in Pilates? Does she regularly talk about how many steps she’s done in a day walking from the gym and back?
Has she and your son-in-law practised for parenting by getting a dog and spoiling it to bits? Are you surprised your daughter didn’t want her beloved pet to attend the ceremony!

So, that’s the humorous, let’s review some thoughts on the more sentimental.

Emotional Father of the Bride speech ideas

Here are some ideas to jog your memory regarding heartfelt moments. Another way to do this is to think back to specific times and places (holidays, parents’ evenings at school, family Christmases) and stories often follow.

What are your super-proud dad moments?
holding her in your arms for the first time
seeing her beat the boys in a school swimming competition
her results or prizes at school or college
attending her university graduation
the time she bought you a drink with her first salary
bringing a grandchild into the world (and naming him/her after a family member)

Has your daughter made some brave choices in her life? Maybe she took a big decision to totally change her career – from safe but slightly dull to risky but more rewarding.
If there’s been a big health challenge, this could be mentioned. Do avoid medical words. It’s about the overcoming not the precise details of the issue.

For example: “As you know, Jane has had to deal with some health challenges that would have knocked the positivity out of most of us. Not my daughter…” Keep it brief and upbeat.

The groom

Could you tell there was something different about their relationship? Can you remember your first impressions on meeting him?
Can you pick out instances he’s helped the family? Perhaps he’s helped with DIY around the house or has ended up as unofficial IT support.
What are his best qualities? Maybe he’s really pushed himself at work and is doing well. Or it could be his great sense of humour and always being easy-going company.
If he asked your permission to marry your daughter, you could make a nod to tradition and praise him for being a gentleman.

You don’t need to say lots about your son-in-law. The Best Man will do that later. Just keep it sincere, snappy, ensure there’s a good quotient of humour. For more story ideas, check out my specific blog post on this here.

How to write your Father of the Bride speech

People tend to approach this in one of two ways:

A Start from the top of the speech and work step by step through the structure.
B See what tumbles out of your head then place it under the relevant heading.

There’s no right or wrong way. I tend to do a mixture of both. A promotes focus while B encourages creativity.

The writing process

However you decide to approach it, a key tip for how to write your Father of the Bride speech is this: generate more ideas than you plan to use. Don’t worry whether something is going to be good enough to include. Write it down. Leave the sifting and quality control till later.

Once you’ve got your material, put it into a first draft. Again, don’t worry about it being perfect. Just doing a draft that goes from top to bottom means you’ll lose some bits and add some new lines for flow. It’s editing and writing on the fly.

Review it

You’ve got a first draft? Great. Leave it. Go for a walk, watch some TV, have a coffee or sleep on it. Leaving a piece of writing for even just a few hours makes all the difference.

There 2 are reasons. First, when you come to review it, things that don’t flow will jump out. Highlight it as something to be tweaked. Second, your unconscious will have been working on it all the while. So, on re-reading it, you might suddenly have a better line. It’s why we get those “where on earth did that come from?” moments.

Polish it

You now have a later draft. Try reading it aloud. If you find it difficult to read a line, it might need shortening or re-working. If a story drags while you’re reading it, it’ll probably drag more for the listeners. Time to lose some fat.

For more in-depth writing tips, check out my page on how to write a speech.

Length of your Father of The Bride speech

Depending on reading speed, 1,300 words is about 7-8 minutes. 10 minutes is about 1,625 words to 1,850. On the day, it might be longer with audience reaction.

However, don’t get too anxious about length at this point. I’ve written speeches of over 2,000 words where clients said their daughter and the guests loved it. Length was not an issue. A tightly written speech peppered with jokes will seem shorter. On the other hand, a much shorter unengaging speech can seem like an eternity. Aim for quality first of all then consider your ideal speaking time.

Short Father of the Bride speech

Why might you want a short Father of the Bride speech? Well, you might not enjoy public speaking. There might be lots of speakers and you’re conscious of time. Maybe you’re a great believer in leaving people wanting more. Or perhaps you don’t want to steal the groom’s thunder.

If that’s you, how best to approach it?

A short Father of the Bride speech doesn’t have to be short on laughs or stories. You just need to be very selective about the “admin” parts. By this I mean, welcomes and who to thank. Keep this number small and cut to the chase. Save your words for the stories.

Tips on how to keep your speech short:

Remember when you’d start an essay at school with something like: “The following essay is about crop rotation in 13^th century Britain.” It was just to increase the word count. It’s not necessary. So, lose anything that isn’t there for flow, laughter or sentiment.
Write up your stories then see which words you can remove without losing anything. You’d be surprised at the flab you’ll lose!
If you’re speaking for, say, five minutes, keep the section about your son-in-law short. A few well-chosen lines in a compact speech can be very effective.

Performing the role but not the father

If you are making a speech in place of the Father of the Bride, I have posts here with guidance on how to write a speech for Brother of the Bride and Mother of the Bride.

Conclusion

I’ve been writing Father of The Bride speeches for over 15 years, so there was lots of advice to relate. However, I recommend you use such info as a point in the right direction rather than a detailed map you must slavishly follow.

Everyone’s life is different. Everyone’s approach is different. And so every wedding speech is different. Embrace your stories, mine your memories and feelings and, most importantly, have fun!

If you’d like help with your speech, I can edit a completed draft or write one from scratch as part of my bespoke wedding speech writing service. If you’d like to chat about how I can help, my contact page is below.