Brother of the Bride speech

Your Brother of the Bride speech

Whether you are giving your Brother of the Bride speech in place of – or in addition to – your dad, this post has guidance on lines, tone and structure. You want to give a speech your sister will be proud of. So, let’s get cracking.

Speech order

First, when will you speak? The typical order of wedding speeches has the Father of the Bride first followed by the groom. So, if you are fulfilling that role, expect to be the first speaker. However, this order is not set in stone. It’s totally at the discretion of the bride and groom, so do check. If you are first, you’ll want to make sure there is a proper welcome to everyone. And, of course, you’ll want to warm them up with an icebreaker or two.

Brother of the Bride speech structure

Unsurprisingly, this is very similar to that of a Father Bride speech. Here’s a simple outline that ticks all the boxes:

SECTION 1 – Introduction

• Icebreaker and welcomes
• Thanks to people who’ve travelled, especially those over long distances
• Potential things to mention: the significance of the venue or the date; toast to absent friends (including your father if relevant)
• Thanks to your family if appropriate e.g. your mum/dad for raising you and your sister

SECTION 2 – Your sister and her new husband

• Stories which celebrate your sister’s successes and her personality
  • Early years – what it was like growing up with her
  • Your sister as a teenager – fashion, friends, parties
  • Her adult years – work or college achievements
• Lines about your new brother-in-law
• Welcoming your brother-in-law into the family

SECTION 3 – Heartfelt conclusion

• How you, your family and her friends feel about your sister
• Summing up in a few lines what a special person she is
• Wishing her and your new brother-in-law a successful marriage
• How proud your dad would have been to have given her away today
• Potential things to include: amusing relationship advice
• A final heartfelt line then a toast to the happy couple

POINTERS:

You probably won’t need to cover thanks to those who have helped with the planning. The groom will usually cover this. As you’re likely to be of a similar age, you can have some fun with stories or lines about the groom. That said, don’t tread too much on the Best Man’s toes here i.e. don’t make the section about him too long.

Now, we have a rough Brother of the Bride speech structure, let’s dive into the content.

Funny Brother of the Bride story ideas

Brothers of the bride who I’ve written for have generally wanted quite a humour-led speech. There might have been sibling rivalry as you were growing up and the gentle fun-poking doesn’t have to stop now. With a few well-chosen stories, you can engage and entertain. All done within a loving framework, of course!

Here are some angles:

• What was it like to be her brother? If you were younger, did she dress you up as a kid? Have you recovered from the trauma?
• How did you get on with her girlfriends? Did they ignore the spotty younger brother or was there a crush on the super-sophisticated you who was a whole 14 months older?
• Was her bedroom like an Amazon warehouse of shoes, clothes and hairbrushes?
• Was she obsessed with a pop star or band? You could find some lyrics from one of their songs to quote near the end.
• Did your sister and her friends hold a party people are still talking about? Was there an unfortunate incident with an unlocked drinks cabinet?
• Were there any big fashion changes where she suddenly went from dark to blonde or vice-versa?

If you’re struggling to think of story ideas, give your memory a helping hand by providing context:

• Check your phone for old photos.
• Ask your mum or one of her friends for any ideas.
• Think of a precise year, a milestone (the year she got her own place) or a location (a friend’s house or a family holiday) – this often triggers a memory.

I’ve also written a post about good sources of funny ideas and stories about the bride. Check it out here.

More emotional Brother of the Bride ideas

If you are fulfilling your father’s role it’s good to cover your sister’s successes, milestones and personal qualities. The things about her that you, your family and her friends are all proud of. Here are some ideas:

• Is she very conscientious – always there for you and the family and her friends?
• Was she a good student at school? You could compare and contrast with your own efforts – making your sister look better, of course.
• Is she driven at work, shooting up the corporate ladder like she’s been fired from a cannon?
• If there’s a party, will she be in the centre of it dancing on a table or would she prefer to be at home with a good book?
• Does she have a close friend or set of friends who adore her? Mentioning a name or two is always good. You might get a laugh or cheer from that table.
• If your dad has passed on, is there a story you’d like to include that involves them both? Maybe him helping with her homework, driving her to and from friends’ houses, buying a beloved Christmas present, etc.

There are two tones here – the funny and heartfelt. You could weave them all together in roughly chronological order or do the funnier ones together followed by the heartfelt. Either way, a mix of both would work well.

Why you’re making the speech

If your father has passed on, you can mention how proud he would have been to give your sister away. This would work best nearer the end in the main heartfelt section about your sister. It might be that he does not feel able to speak or your sister would prefer you to. In this instance, less is more. You can just say you’re making the speech on behalf of your dad. You could even make light of it:

“My dad has kindly allowed me to speak in his place, which means I can avoid any jokes at my expense. Thanks, dad!”

Finally, if your father is estranged from the family, it’s best not to make any mention of this at all.

Brother of the Bride speech length

If you’re speaking in place of your father, then a similar length of speech is best. This ranges from 6 – 12 minutes, with the average being about 7-8 minutes. If there are lots of other speeches e.g. if your sister is speaking and the groom and Best Man, then do keep an eye on length. Try to avoid going over 10 minutes.

Final thoughts

You’ve grown up with your sister, you’ve poked fun at her, you’ve been jealous of her. You now find yourself with the responsibility of talking about her on her wedding day. It’s a wonderful chance to share some cherished family stories, laugh and sing her praises. It’s your speech, but do try to give a sense of her not just from your perspective but from that of your family and her friends. Not only will your sister appreciate this, but it will make everyone in the room feel part of the story. The story of how super-proud you are all of her.

Good luck!

Marc