Essential Groom speech tips A-Z

Groom Speech Help A-Z

Congratulations on your impending marriage! Commiserations on worrying about your speech.

But don’t worry, there is groom speech help at hand. Here are 26 bite-size groom speech tips, written by a professional speech writer with a raft of BBC credits, which will point you in the right direction and reduce those stress levels.

So, if you’ve got 5 minutes to spare, let’s get started…

A is for Alcohol

Alcohol is not a performance-enhancing drug. For every extra ounce of confidence it gives you, it takes away in ability: your timing will be off, you might stumble over a word, you might stumble over a chair. But people will be offering you glasses of bubbly so what’s to be done? Stick to the drink-drive limit and you won’t end up in the speech equivalent of the ditch.

B is for Best Man

You’ll likely be speaking before the Best Man so why not grace your speech with a kind word or two followed by a killer line to show him who’s boss? Keep it brief though. Yes, you’re close and he’s dressed up for the occasion, but it’s your wife’s big day not your Best Man’s.

C is for cliché

So, you’ve Googled “Wedding jokes” or you’ve summoned the genie that is ChatGPT. Well, so have loads of other speakers. Some guests are likely to recognise any time-honoured lines. Avoid them if you can. Original trumps old-hat every time.

D is for Doubt

You’ve re-read your speech and are not sure about a line. Is it as funny or relevant as you originally thought? Here’s a simple rule: if in doubt, leave it out. Great speeches are as much about what you cut out as what you put in. The red pen is your friend.

E is for Express yourself

Don’t feel the need to use flowery or over-formal language. Make your written voice quite close to your natural speaking voice. You will be reading the speech after all, so make it sound like you.

F is for Friends and Family

If you’d like to mention lots of people close to you, try to avoid it sounding like a class register. If each mention of a person is accompanied with a light-hearted remark, you not only get to name-check lots of people, you get more humour into your speech. Win-win.

G is for Gifts that keep on giving…

Handing out gifts is surprisingly time-consuming and can turn your speech into an adult version of Santa’s Grotto. Keep this to a minimum or, better still, don’t do it during the speech at all.

H is for How You Met

So, you didn’t meet while climbing Everest or swimming with sharks? It doesn’t matter. The guests will love to hear how you first set eyes on each other, and your wife will love to know what you first thought. Or can remember…

I is for Inclusive

Try to include stories, jokes and references that everyone will be able to relate to. Think of your speech as a buffet. There’s something for everyone.

J is for Journey

When thanking those who have travelled from near and far, it’s a nice chance to make a joke or two about their journeys. Did someone have to fly Ryan Air? Has their SatNav had a nervous breakdown? Or did they just have to fall out of bed to get there?

K is for Knowing me, Knowing You

You know your future wife’s idiosyncrasies and she knows yours. Yet despite all that, she still chose to marry you. If you include some gentle remarks at your own expense, it’s a simple way to prevent your speech becoming a schmaltz-fest.

L is for Length

Basically, too long and the guests will be bored, too short and your wife will feel short-changed. 1,300 words spoken at an average pace will give you roughly 8 minutes. Under 5 or too much over 10 mins and we’re entering the danger zone.

M is for Material

Brainstorm as many lines, ideas and stories as you can before writing the speech. Don’t dive into the speech straight away. You need a big block of marble before you can start sculpting your masterpiece.

N is for Notes

It’s perfectly fine to read out a prepared speech or use cue cards. Do what feels right for you. And don’t do your speech without notes just for plaudits. Make your words memorable not a memory test.

O is for Order

Don’t over-complicate it. Remember the classic three-act structure: beginning, middle and end. Start your groom speech with one or two ice-breakers before the welcomes and thanks, move on to main stories in the middle, save the most heartfelt moments for the end, do the toast and you’re done. Just the Best Man’s speech to worry about now…!

P is for the Proposal

Did the waiter keep coming over at the wrong moment? Was that quiet street in Rome suddenly full of teenagers skateboarding? Have some fun by turning any obstacles into something you valiantly overcame. And there’s a natural happy ending to the story: your wife said “yes”.

Q is for Questions

Rhetorical questions are a great way to introduce stories or start new sections. Compare: “It was seven years ago that I met my wife in a pub in such-and-such a town” to “So how on earth did such a wonderful woman allow herself to be ensnared by such a man as me? It was seven years ago…”

R is for Reading

Read your groom’s speech out loud. You will notice any lines that go clunk, jokes that disappoint and those over-elaborate, circuitous interpolations that become a mouthful to say and a chore to listen to. Like that one.

S is for Sentiment

Don’t go too big too early with your sentiment. The most heartfelt material you’ve written is your joker. Keep it till the last possible moment when you can deliver it with a flourish.

T is for Toasts

Don’t overdo them. The Groom traditionally toasts the bridesmaids at the very end, but you might also wish to toast your parents and your in-laws earlier in the speech. A toast to absent friends would usually be done by the Father of the Bride.

U is for Uncle Christopher

If you’re not sure whether a line or topic is entirely suitable then imagine you’re addressing it to your Uncle Christopher or your Auntie Jenny. Will they crack a smile or look away in embarrassment? If it passes the older relative test, you’re probably safe.

V is for variety

Keep the references and themes as varied as you can. 8 minutes of “I love my wife, she’s totally amazing” would test the patience of most of the guests, including your wife. You’ve got an entire marriage in which to say these wondrous things, so save some praise for other days.

W is for wedding venue

Every word is precious in your speech so don’t devote a whole paragraph to the wonders of your wedding venue, photographer, florist or DJ. If you wish to, a quick thanks is fine. This is the speech of a lifetime not a Trip Advisor review.

X is for X-Factor

Try to include at least a line or two that you think your wife – and guests – will remember long after you’ve sat down and even years later. The key to this is… authenticity. Write what feels real.

Y is for Yesterday

Which is when you wish you’d started writing your speech. However, even if the wedding is in a couple of days there’s still time to put a decent speech together. If you’re truly panicking, a professional speech writer can do it for you. Y is also for “Yes, this is blatant speech writer self-promotion.”

Z is for Zorro

If you’re telling an anecdote, pimp your prose. A simple way is to add the odd reference to pop culture, literature or history. Compare: “When it was David’s round, he would always disappear” to “Whenever it came to David’s round, he was like Zorro disappearing into the night.” It’s got a bit more to it. You only have a few minutes’ speaking time so make each sentence count.

I hope this groom speech help has helped. Good luck!